8 Ways to Banish Misery (from Your Love Life)
The wisdom is there. We just don't listen to it.
Arthur C. Brooks writes the Happiness column in the Atlantic and I read each and every piece as if it’s scripture. Brooks’ book “From Strength to Strength” is a game-changer for anyone in the second half of their life, but it’s his weekly columns that make me feel like I’m more in control of my own joy.
His recent one, Eight Ways to Banish Misery, was so spot-on that I’m sharing some of it below, with my own commentary on how this applies to your love life. To be fair, Brooks cribbed this from Bertrand Russell’s “The Conquest of Happiness,” so if you want to go back to the source, that’s where you’d go.
So, without further ado, here are 4 ways that these philosophical giants: Russell, Brooks, (and Katz!), think you’re getting in your own way in love.
Pessimism won’t make me cool or smart—just wrong and unhappy. I choose to be an optimistic realist.
In Love U, we call this “short-term pessimism/long-term optimism.” It’s the idea that you can’t realistically expect that the next guy you text from Tinder will be your future soulmate, but if you persevere and learn from your mistakes, you will eventually meet your future soulmate.