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This is my coaching call with Lovesplaining subscriber, Janet. She’s a Love U graduate who recently developed an exclusive relationship that has gone sideways due to long-distance and the illness of his mother. Watch the video below to hear the full conversation.
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This Week's Love U Love Story
Hi Evan,
After first meeting on April 10, 2021, I married the love of my life on Friday, October 14, 2022, in a small and intimate ceremony surrounded by our immediate families. In DC fashion, we got married at a memorial and took pictures along the National Mall. We are planning a bigger reception for more family and friends for next year.
Ironically, dating my husband and the progression of our relationship didn’t feel like it required as much of what I learned in Love U. That’s not because I didn’t learn anything. On the contrary, while I was already incorporating much of the Love U values before joining, I learned many applicable and actionable strategies that were quite effective throughout my dating! But things just kind of fell into place very naturally and our personalities complemented each other very well.
I think what did help was the consistent message of perseverance and looking into character. Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly attracted to my husband. But while character was often what I looked for anyway, in my husband’s case it cemented my commitment to him. Our relationship was and is easy, although life certainly threw a LOT of challenges our way. It was these challenges that really put into sharp focus how strong, honest, kind, thoughtful, respectful, and communicative my husband is; that he took hardship as a lesson and sought to constantly grow. This was truly a very different kind of man than I had dated before.
Through it all whenever I asked myself the question “Can you live with who he is right now in this moment for the rest of your life? Can you accept who he is without expectation or desire for him to change?” my answer was always “Absolutely.” As he and I often say to each other: I love him and I like him. I not only have romantic love for him, but I enjoy his company most of all. He is truly my partner. The love we share was the kind that I had always hoped to find, but thought elusive and that I would need to “settle”. Instead, it grew more and more with time, observance, and shared experience.
I’m also happy to report that our families really enjoy each other; our mothers apparently have been texting quite a bit since our wedding! We are still dealing with some of life’s challenges, but we are enjoying finally living together full-time and making/executing plans for our future.
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