Why You Should ALWAYS Listen to Your Feelings

The Story Behind Lovesplaining

Imagine this is me. My wife does.

You know my story: First male dating coach for women. Dated 300 women over 10 years. Learned from my many mistakes. Got happily married. Created Love U to show you how to get happily married, too. 

But there’s another story you don’t know. Unlike most dating coaches - psychologists, influencers, and cute British guys - I was a writer first. 

I was a writer when I read my journal aloud in 9th-grade English class.

I was a writer when I was the comedy columnist for the Duke newspaper.

I was a writer when I was in Matt Damon/Ben Affleck’s Project Greenlight.

I was a writer when I published my first book in 2004.

I was a writer when I wrote 1,000 blog posts on dating.

Then I stopped writing. 

I didn’t think much of it. I just knew that the world had shifted to podcasting and social media and I wasn’t going to get left behind. 

So I started a podcast and hired a social media team to cut my videos into 1-minute reels you can find on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok. 

It was successful. The Love U Podcast has been downloaded 2.5 million times. I’ve got a few hundred thousand followers on social media. I’m living the dream, happily married, raising two great kids, coaching ten hours a week, and helping women find lasting love.

Then why did I feel so empty at work over the past few years? For the life of me, I couldn’t figure it out.

Fast forward to Sunday, March 12, 2023, when I hadn’t slept in over 48 hours.

Now, I’ve dealt with anxiety before - usually correlated with career insecurity. Panic attacks when I didn’t know what I wanted to do after college. Depression when I gave up screenwriting in my late 20s. Now, here I was, 50, and uneasy that my dream job had become less enjoyable every passing year.

My body was telling me something my brain couldn’t ignore. 

I’m guessing this is similar to what my smart, successful readers feel when they have the home, the career, the friends, the hobbies…yet still feel something’s missing from their life. 

For you, it may be a man who takes care of you and loves you unconditionally. 

For me, it was writing. Not writing newsletters with client stories and encouragement to join Love U. Writing in my voice. Writing from the heart. 

I quit writing because I thought I had to. I was wrong. I could start again. But if I did, I’d have to write about dating in a way that felt fresh and new. 

Enter Lovesplaining

For the past few years, I’ve subscribed to many newsletters here on Substack. These newsletters have become my go-to source for intelligent writing.

I love reading about sports, politics, culture, writing, comedy, and parenting - and can always count on getting insights from writers I like, trust, and admire.

Yet when I checked out the categories on Substack: technology, design, travel, education, fashion, literature, do you know what was glaringly missing?

You’ve got it: dating and relationships!

This is why, today, I’m taking the fire that’s been burning since I stopped blogging and channeling it into a Substack newsletter called Lovesplaining. 

What I’m offering you at Lovesplaining is different than anything on my other platforms, different than anything on my regular mailing list, and different than anything you can read by any other dating coach.

In Lovesplaining, I’m creating a space to deeply explore the most important thing in our lives: love - how to get it, how to keep it, and how we get in our own way in the process.

I’ll still put out my free newsletter but Substack is where I’m pouring my most personal thoughts and building a community of women dedicated to better relationships - both with men and with yourself.

Why Subscribe to Lovesplaining?

As a blogger for 15 years, I know about offering free content. As a published author, I know about getting paid for my work. Therefore, I hope you enjoy the free stuff, and I trust you’ll discover the value of a paid subscription.

There are 3 options: Free subscribers. Paid subscribers. Founding members. 

Free subscribers receive (for $0/month):

One long post each Friday with meticulously crafted rants and eye-opening articles to deepen your understanding of dating and relationships.

One podcast each Friday, where I verbally tackle similar topics, without having to spend four hours writing a meticulously crafted rant. 

Paid subscribers receive (for $7/month or $70/year):

The ability to ask me dating questions and get live coaching on Zoom.

A post every Monday about an important dating or relationship article. 

An advice column every other Wednesday in which I answer paid subscriber questions.

A podcast every other Wednesday in which I offer dating coaching to paid subscribers.

Exclusive content that is unavailable to the general public, including early notification of live events, sales, early access to new content, and AMAs. 

The ability to comment on all posts and join the dialogue in the Lovesplaining community. 

Founding members receive (for a suggested $200 but you can donate whatever you want over $70):

A virtual hug? Good karma? Mad props? You choose this level because you’re a regular reader who has enjoyed my advice for a long time and you want this passion project to succeed. By becoming a founding member, you’re demonstrating your appreciation - for years of blogs, podcasts, and newsletters, as well as this new venture. Not only is your financial support a generous gesture, but I will now know your name and look out for you in the Lovesplaining community. I hate to admit it but I do play favorites.

Huh? You’ve given me free advice since 2004 and now I’m supposed to PAY?

To be clear, you don’t have to pay anything. I’m still sending my regular newsletter about Love U, hosting my Love U Podcast, and posting videos (probably about Love U) on social media. Plus, as a free Substack subscriber, you’ll still get a good portion of the Friday Lovesplaining newsletter and one Love U Podcast for the low, low, price of NOTHING. 

Yet, there are a few reasons I’m asking you to consider a paid subscription:

1. You want to find lasting love. If you’re not already in the Love U coaching community, this is where you’ll get the greatest value.  

2. You will feel more connected and less alone on your journey. Commenting on the posts and connecting with high-achieving women helps ease the frustration with dating and provides needed support.

3. You will be safeguarded from the annoyances of the Internet. No trolls. No pop-up ads. No spam. No one selling your data. This is a safe place to congregate, get advice, and learn to make better choices with men. 

4. You can get your personal dating questions answered. I’m regularly asked if I do one-off coaching sessions. My answer has always been: “Sorry, but if you enroll in Love U, I will teach you to find a great partner in the next six months.” People hate that. Now, you can send me a written question or book a free 20-minute Zoom call and I’ll help you. That’s gotta be worth $7/month! 

5. You get the best of me. Creating content quickly for the Internet is a grind. If I’m knocking out 1-minute reels for Instagram, I assure you, it’s something I made up at the moment. If I’m churning out 3 newsletters a week to inspire you to join Love U, there’s a quick turnaround and no time for editing. Because Lovesplaining is a labor of love, I’m giving it more time, thought, and energy. Thus, I’m producing a better product - one you can access for free. If enough people like you choose to pay for it, it gives me a strong incentive to keep going. If not, well…

I have no idea if this will take off but, like my Hollywood career, literary career, and coaching career, if I don’t do it, I’ll regret not having tried.

I invite you to join me on this adventure, join a whip-smart community of women who are grappling with life’s biggest mystery, and watch your love life start to soar. 

Let’s do this!

Warmest wishes and much love,

Your friend,

Evan 

See how relaxed I am? That’s a happy marriage.

I’m excited and I hope you are, too. I look forward to your comments below.