The Attitude Of Gratitude

Some things do not come naturally for me.

Since it’s the last week of the year and many readers are on vacation, I’m not doing a full Lovesplaining with the 1500-word post and the different categories. Instead, I wrote about something I’ve been feeling recently. I hope it resonates with you. I look forward to returning to our regular programming next week.

My family, in December.

17 years ago, I had a therapist tell me:

“Evan, life is like a hunk of Swiss cheese - and all you do is look at the holes.”

This penchant for criticism has proven to be my deepest weakness. Magnifying flaws in others kept me single for many years and undermined some of my closest relationships. Then again, my clear-eyed worldview has also been an asset. You need to know what’s NOT working in love if you want to be able to fix it, and I’ve made a career of discovering what works.

For this reason, I don’t think I’m a pessimist; I prefer to call myself a “reality-based” dating coach. But here’s a sober reality check: I’m in the 99.9% of lucky people on Earth but I rarely feel that way.

I was born to two parents who stayed married, provided lots of love, resources, and self-esteem, and paid for my college education.

I am the boss of my own company. I have a solid work/life balance. I make a good and honest living helping others live their best lives.

Yet every day, work remains a struggle because I can’t control it. Come to think of it, I spend more time worrying about things I can’t control - Israel, Trump, and social media to name three - than enjoying what I can control.

Why torture myself like this?

My wife is my favorite person in the entire world.

My 12-year-old daughter is happy in middle school.

My 11-year-old son just starred in the school play.

My 3-year-old dog is my handsome, fluffy friend.

We’re in our 50’s and (mostly) have our health.

We’re staying at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico this week.

And I still can’t stop thinking that I should be doing better.

Better than WHOM? I don’t know.

I just know I never feel like I’m living up to my potential.

But haven’t I? Don’t I know my deceased father would be proud of me? Can’t I recognize I’ve accomplished more than I’d even imagined? Shouldn’t I take a deep exhale and appreciate all the many blessings I have?

This is my dilemma. It’s also the human condition.

So, today, I’m continuing my pursuit of MORE with an equally dogged pursuit of ENOUGH.

Today, I’m not going to focus on the ways I can improve.

Today, I’m going to focus on the ways I can be content, stay positive, and inspire joy in those around me.

Please take a moment to appreciate what you DO have instead of lamenting what you don’t have.

Please be kind to yourself because your voice matters the most.

Please call someone special and tell them you love them.

Finally, please have a happy and healthy New Year.

You most definitely deserve it.

I love you, I appreciate you, and I hope you love and appreciate yourself.

Warmest wishes,

Your friend,

Evan

Love U Scholarship

If you want to be my latest Love U Love Story, please click the link below, fill out the application, and upload a two-minute video explaining why I should select you as my 2024 scholarship winner.

The deadline is 11:59 pm TONIGHT, and if history repeats itself, I’ll have over 100 qualified applications to consider. But don’t let that scare you. 

You’ve sat on the sidelines long enough. It’s time to take action and live your best life.

I promise: Love U will be the greatest thing you’ve ever done for yourself.